


To Keep Yuuri on Ice

by Kou (Rietto)



Series: Yuri on Ice study [3]
Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Gen, M/M, epi 12 in Victor's POV
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-23
Updated: 2016-12-23
Packaged: 2018-09-11 09:18:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,644
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8973874
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rietto/pseuds/Kou
Summary: Victor was a failure as a coach. Not because Yuuri never got gold under his teaching, but because in the end he couldn't bring himself to want Yuuri get gold.To be fair, it's not like he sabotaged Yuuri or anything.





	

Victor Nikiforov, 27 years old.

A Russian athlete turned coach that anyone could find anywhere. An adult.

Supposedly more experienced in life in general due to it, and with golden ring as proof, also in love.

And yet, such person was found sitting by the pool in his bathrobe, sobbing pathetically, by one Christophe Giacometti.

To rewind back a few, Yuuri Katsuki, his fiancé had dropped a bomb. He suddenly said that he wanted to retire. To say that Victor took it lightly would be an outright lie. It became shouting match which ended when Yuuri screamed that he’d had enough and grumpily curled under the comforter. What Victor could see was only black mop that was his hair and his right hand clutching the pillow, golden ring glinting as light from the lamp reflected on it.

He invited Chris and Phichit to a new private chatroom because one of them knew him the best and the other knew Yuuri the best because Victor Nikiforov the adult seriously at lost as to what to do.

> **v-nikiforov** I need help
> 
> **v-nikiforov** it’s abt Yuuri
> 
> **christophe-gc** what did u do

Chris was the first to answer. Victor clicked his tongue in irritation. Such little faith his friend had on him. But, remembering his history, Victor supposed he deserved it.

> **v-nikiforov** we had a fight
> 
> **christophe-gc** coach, thought you’d know better
> 
> **christophe-gc** unlike some people we’re in delicate time here
> 
> **phichit+chu** is yuuri still alive
> 
> **phichit+chu** pics or he’s not and I’m getting Ciao Ciao and the Russians to avenge him
> 
> **phichit+chu** also cops and Italian mob
> 
> **phichit+chu** Chinese too maybe
> 
> **phichit+chu** tho Guang Hong maybe can only come tomorrow

Apparently the others’ opinion of him could be worse.

Victor walked to the other bed, pointed his phone at Yuuri and took the picture. Yuuri peeked from under the comforter, realizing that a picture of him had just been taken from the loud click, glared then turned around.

Because Victor was also mad, he just exhale loudly through his nose and turned to face the other wall.

> **phichit+chu** okay, bed still pushed together, gold ring still on, I’ll believe u
> 
> **phichit+chu** I’ve prepared my bestman speech, tg it’s still on

Victor’s heart throbbed painfully.

He hoped it’s still on.

> **christophe-gc** but really, what happened
> 
> **christophe-gc** u got engaged 2 days ago
> 
> **christophe-gc** what caused this?
> 
> **v-nikiforov** yuuri is retiring

It took a while before both of them replied at the same time.

> **phichit+chu** what
> 
> **christophe-gc** what

Yeah, that’s what Victor thought too. It’s honestly too sudden and random and selfish.

Honestly, Yuuri absorbed too much of Victor’s famously bad traits, it’s no longer cute. Suddenly Victor felt a sense of awe towards Yakov, because he certainly took his protege's sudden retirement better than Victor did.

> **v-nikiforov** not certain yet he said he’s tired
> 
> **v-nikiforov** but he might make it official after fs
> 
> **christophe-gc** sorry but, if he decide to do that no one can stop him
> 
> **phichit+chu** ya yuuri is stubborn af
> 
> **phichit+chu** tho ya yuuri is stupid af too i'll try to talk to him
> 
> **phichit+chu** was that why u fought? He wants to retire and u said no?

Yes.

He wanted to type to answer Phichit. It’s obviously because Yuuri shone the brightest on the ice and Victor hadn’t had enough of him. No one had had enough of seeing Yuuri’s beauty on ice, and Yuuri himself was obviously still not satisfied.

It’s not like he’d become reigning champion for five years and gotten bored of the whole skating thing. Yuuri was still young and his story had just begun.

But it wouldn't help his case.

So instead he told them about what started the shouting, not the fight. Also, technically, Victor never said Yuuri can’t retire then and there. Honestly he was relieved Yuuri said he’s retiring, that he just wanted to end the coach-athlete relationship and not the other more important bond. The thing which struck him bad though was…

> **v-nikiforov** he wants me to skate again
> 
> **v-nikiforov** he’s mad because I refused
> 
> **v-nikiforov** and you better not tell me I can’t

Because what’s the point.

What’s the point if Yuuri would no longer be there…

Victor was determined to accept Yuuri’s decision, no matter how painful. Yuuri could retire if he wanted, yeah, whatever, Victor thought. But not even Yuuri had any right on deciding Victor’s career.

It might be the vodka, which Victor grabbed from minibar, but after that until Chris found him by the pool was a blur. Apparently Chris had gotten worried because after that Victor stopped replying, and he and Phichit went to their room. Phichit opted to stay and try to talk some sense to Yuuri, and Victor was grateful because in all honestly he’s probably the only one who could. He’d been with Yuuri for most of his time the last five years.

Also, Mari and Minako would probably let Yuuri solve this himself like they had always done.

Yuuri being a stubborn selfish man that he was, the chance of him changing his mind was close to nothing.

It might be the alcohol, but Victor could get calmer once memory flooded his mind.

He praised the gods, the one he prayed to and the ones Yuuri prayed to. Praise them for letting him remember Yuuri, every little details that made Yuuri the enigma that he was even though as Russian Yuri said, Victor’s impulsivity and tendency to forget things are pain the ass.

Also, praise Yuuko.

_“Yuuri really is a sore loser.”_

She had said.

There’s still hope. If Yuuri didn’t get gold, then Yuuri might not retire.

Yuuri was fourth. The chance of him winning gold was not high, and it might had gotten lower again due to this fight.

Okay, to the hell with marriage, he could wait forever. He wasn’t even sure he could officially marry Yuuri.

He let himself be led back to his room by Chris, and on the bed Yuuri was also crying. Phichit was next to him, his hand on Yuuri’s shoulder.

“Come on, Yuuri.”

He said, and Yuuri actually complied.

He had his cheeks puffed, and his red eyes were to the floor, but it’s an apology nonetheless. He held out his hand and they shook on it.

Like toddlers fighting in daycare.

“Sorry… I’ll… I won’t ask you to skate again, if you don’t want to.”

“Likewise.”

God damn it, Yuuri.

They’d announce their decision together after Free Skate, they decided. Phichit and Chris left with worried smile. Yuuri was like that, so Victor told them to not worry if Yuuri didn’t come to practice in the morning. He’d tell them if anything happen again, so the two should just focus and aim gold.

He almost said it pleadingly to Chris, because Victor honestly couldn’t imagine podium devoid of him.

He didn’t expect Yuuri to actually wish for it though. For a reason to change his mind.

Yuuri had always been surprising. It’s why Victor loved him.

Victor noticed.

How could he not? Yuuri never hesitated to run to him after a program. And yet, even after such a perfect performance, Yuuri seemed lost. Chocolate eyes wide and twinkling, his whole body glistening in sweat. His feet firm on the ice.

He’d roared, and cried.

Not of joy. It sounded akin to wounded animal. Raw and full of despair despite the perfect performance he just did.

Victor understood.                                                                                                                                 

If possible, it’s as if he’d prefer to stay on it forever, for the world to end in that perfect moment.

Yuuri glided slowly to Kiss and Cry, held onto Victor’s coat and sobbed.

It’s the first time Yuuri ever like that.

“Don’t worry. There’s no way you’d get low score after that perfect performance.”

As expected, even after the score was announced, Yuuri still seemed so lost and broken.

Victor had gotten used to see Yuuri smiling wide and happy in Kiss and Cry. He’d gotten used to hear Yuuri’s unbelieving gasp and shy laughter. Beautiful, so beautiful. The most beautiful thing he’d ever seen, and he only got more beautiful each time. Victor liked to tease Yuuri in that state, to shower him with praises he so rightly deserved but could never believe in other circumstances, to kiss and hug him when he’s the most pliant.

Yuuri was a contradiction.

He’d always been.

Victor had noticed.

He had anxiety and self-esteem problem, and yet he’s the most relaxed where he was under scrutiny.

He hated being seen as weak, and yet Yuri was one of the few people Yuuri could earnestly call ‘friend’, and the brat could curse worse than a sailor in at least two languages.

His unconscious screaming for Victor to be with him (a ballroom of people could attest to that), and yet he was always pushing away.

Right then, Victor had no doubt that Yuuri was being contradictive as always. He said he wanted to retire and yet he didn’t want to leave the ice.

Really, Yuuri was such a masochist.

Before too. Yuuri seemed tenser and angrier when Victor said what he had in mind.

“You can do it.”

It’s a fact.

And Victor hoped Yuuri would really get the gold. Because Yuuri that he fell in love with wasn’t a skater. He’s a drunk man in his underwear more selfish and forgetful than even Victor himself. Even if it’s his last skate, Victor didn’t want it to be his last hours with Yuuri. Even if he decided to stop skating, Victor still wanted to be with him.

Bur Yuuri wouldn't let him if he didn't get gold, and Victor was scared of that.

Yuuri got mad instead.

"I thought I told you to be yourself. Don't act all coach-like this late in the game."

Be himself, that day on the beach, Yuuri did ask him that.

He seemed relieved even, when Victor promised to not hold back. To show his love that way.

Be himself.

A selfish clingy man who’d do whatever he wants, take whatever he wants without care of others’ feelings.

Yuri and Yakov said that’s his true self, and Victor decided to act on it. To ignore his self-restrain, the one which was afraid of breaking Yuuri to pieces.

Victor clung to Yuuri and exaggerate his frustration. Feeling guilty for doubting Yuuri's strength, even though he knew that he's not weak by any means.

Yuuri laughed.

It’s nice. Yuuri trembled, holding Victor for dear life lest he fall to the ice before the music even start. Yuuri liked it when he’s demanding things, Victor realized, just as much as Victor liked it when Yuuri’s being assertive. As long as there’s no doubt in his ability…

_“… aah, Victor finally found my weakness.”_

Yuuri had whispered in his bouts of laughter.

And he delivered, even better than that time in Cup of China. Victor wondered if he’d said it like few minutes ago, with his voice purposely pitched higher, with his lips formed into a sneer, if only he didn’t pull Yuuri and protect him and instead push him forward…

Victor held out his hand, and Yuuri shook it.

Damn it, Yuuri.

Victor pulled him into a hug. Honestly, he’d done it so many times that Yuuri being too shellshocked to even breathe was like an insult. Really, he’d made it clear right? Yuuri, Yuuri, Yuuri…

He’d told him to get gold, right? Breaking his record means he’s almost certain to get it right? After that, there’d be a wedding right? Like this, it’s like Yuuri hated that, isn’t it?

God, it’s backwards. It’s Regionals all over again. What next? A day heart to heart on the beach again? Yuuri refusing him again?

Yuuri forgetting him again?

Victor couldn’t have that.

In the private chatroom, Phichit had reminded Victor that the one Yuuri liked first and foremost was Victor as a competitive skater. So, of course he’d want to see his loved one until the end. Victor could still continue. Still perfect for competition. Nothing would make him happier.

> **phichit+chu** sorry but its true

What was it… what was it that Japanese proverb? Something about sun and wind.

He told Yuuri about feeling joy that the athlete that used his choreography and his protégé both made world record in the same event, but as an athlete himself, it felt super annoying. Which was true and false at the same time. Because in all honesty he didn’t have the drive to skate alone anymore, not without Yuuri.

Yuuri’s smile was the widest that day, just as Phichit said.

Because Yuuri was a contradiction, as always.

Victor understood, he’d known, and for the love of katsudon he wished he could smile and be happy for Yuuri.

He honestly couldn’t.

* * *

Chris flubbed his Salchow, and Victor knew he wouldn’t make it to podium this time.

Yuuri’s mood had really gotten better that he got semblance of his happy post-program state. He shyly smiled for the camera, smile tugging his lips. He didn’t refuse Victor’s affection as badly as before too. He let out a pained gasp seeing Chris’s quad turned into single, and without hesitation he screamed ‘good luck’ to him in French, the same time Victor did.

He didn’t know whether to be happy about it or not.

Chris’s program was ending, so they moved from Kiss and Cry. He saw Phichit watching the programs on TV with Celestino. He smiled apologetically, maybe he’d heard about Victor’s decision from Yuuri. Yuuri always shared good news with Phichit immediately, sometimes even sooner than he told his skate-dumb family. The younger man though, was much more observant and could probably tell that Victor only said that as compromise to make Yuuri happy.

It was when Chris had left Kiss and Cry that Victor phone rang, a notification had came in from their shared chatroom.

> **christophe-gc** Sorry man
> 
> **christophe-gc** You’re terrible coach but not that bad of a coach apparently
> 
> **christophe-gc** I tried
> 
> **v-nikiforov** You could have done better
> 
> **christophe-gc** What can I say, jealousy got to me
> 
> **christophe-gc** You have one hope left

He said, and everything clicked. About the hope in the whole situation.

Chris was right, he was a terrible coach. The worst. To wish for his protégé’s downfall like that, it’s a wonder he hadn’t sabotaged the program. Well, Victor did want to see beautiful Yuuri, and he wouldn’t ruin it for anything.

He was honestly ecstatic to see him dancing perfect performance, and if this whole retiring thing didn’t happen he could one hundred percent hoped for him to get gold, he figured. Sadly, there’s priorities.

Victor ran and hoped Yakov had his medicines because he might got heart attack after this.

He didn’t but it’s close. Nationals was practically days away.

Yuri too.

Color drained from his face, making his skin seemed almost translucent, stark contrast against his black and pink costume. It made him seem ethereal like his nickname the Russian Fairy.  

The genius in jumps, but pale in comparison to Yuuri in step sequence, spins and presentation.

Since GPF in Sochi, Yuri had admired Yuuri for it, and when he came to Hasetsu he suddenly got so much more lively. It’s so obvious it’s almost cute. How he refused to part with Yuuri too. Though Victor was a bit annoyed he took Yuuri to the waterfall. Yuuri didn’t need to purify himself, rather it’d only make Eros harder for him.

But Yuri cared about Yuuri.

Him not refusing Yuuri when he asked him to demonstrate jumps was proof. Yuuri’s story about how Yuri cheered him up with katsudon pirohski when Victor had to left him was another. Yuri demanding Victor to leave Yuuri because as proven in Russia Victor only held him back too.

Yuri was his last hope. Only Yuri, only him could awaken Yuuri’s fighting spirit again.

Just like in Onsen on Ice.

Words failed him, and Victor couldn’t stop himself.

He felt like begging, and instead he held Yuri tighter.

After what felt like forever, Yuri pushed him away and glared.

“There’s no way I’d lose to the pig, stupid.”

He said with a huff, eyes glowing and teeth gritted. Victor couldn’t help but to laugh a bit.

“If you win, I’ll get you a trunk full of tiger patterned clothes.”

Yuri walked away with right middle finger raised, Lilia and Yakov trailing after him. He seemed so reliable that Victor let out the breath he didn’t realize he’d been holding. Yakov seemed like he’s about to faint and wobbled a bit.

Just in case he’d really get heart attack, and it’d certainly be Victor’s fault, Victor helped him walk towards the rink and watch over Yuri with him and Lilia.

Yuri cried in the end, tired and frustrated. His voice as broken as Yuuri’s.

He couldn’t surpass JJ, let alone Yuuri. Victor knew that instinctively, and he had no doubt that Yuri did too. He seemed so scared and fragile in Kiss and Cry, slumping and holding his head close to his knees. Lilia rubbing his back comfortingly while Yakov glared at the screen as if daring it to show anything less than perfect score for his new star skater.

Still, his record breaking Short Program made him champion nevertheless. When it was announced, Yuri broke out crying again, out of relief this time and Victor might had cried out in happiness too.

It’s Yuri, so he might felt it imperfect. Victor had seen others in podium, but it’s the first time he saw that weird sight. Neither seemed happy with their accomplishment. Two of them seemed like they would refuse their spots if they could, while the other seemed conflicted between happiness and disappointment.

JJ due to the Short Program failure and imperfect Free Program. Yuri because in FS score he couldn’t beat his two rivals. And Yuuri…

Yuuri because he’s a sore loser.

Yuri walked towards Victor after the ceremony was over, punched his shoulder with trembling hand, and said it’s up to Victor now.

Victor said thank you for the first time in forever.

Yuuri was the last one to leave the ice, shy pained smile on his face. He took off his silver medal and offered it to Victor. He avoided eye-contact, and faint blush painting his cheeks red. He almost seemed cute.

But Victor was selfish and he was still angry, and so he cheerfully exploited Yuuri’s weakness.

Honestly, he’d compromised for Yuuri. It’s the least Yuuri could do, right?

To not retire until he could no longer skate.

Hook, line, sinker.

* * *

The banquet was unlike last year, but Victor was still giddy from Yuuri’s change of mind that he was on cloud nine nevertheless.

A lot of screaming. Mostly of happiness. The patrons were pleased that Victor would return to ice, and all said they couldn’t wait to see him in Nationals again. Celestino told him to not seduce his student again.

He seemed to forget that it was Yuuri who poledanced last year.

Yuri sipped on his juice, trying to focus on the people congratulating him but as expected he kept on glancing at Yuuri, who was cheerful for once. Phichit was with him, the Thai boy was holding a camera and seemed determined to capture every moment.

He waved to Victor with wide grin, and Victor pulled Yuri along for a picture with Yuuri. Surely Yuri would like it. When Phichit showed them the shot, Otabek was also in the picture. His idol and first friend in one pic, for one moment Yuri couldn’t keep his happiness hidden.

He took off grumpily, but not before glaring at Victor.

The message was clear. That photo better be in the trunk Victor promised. Victor held his thumb up. Anything for his future best man. He’d have it printed in canvas and sent it to Yuri already framed.

“Champagne, Yuuri?”

Chris whispered from behind the silver medalist to his reddening ear, two flutes in his hand. Yuuri shrieked and ran away. Phichit laughed and declared that he’d make Yuuri dance battle everyone again even if it’s the last thing he did before running after his best friend. In the corner, Michele Crispino turned pale and started to beg his sister to leave the banquet early.

“So, next year?”

“Hmm, maybe. We never specified what gold medal would seal the deal. National, or maybe Four Continents?”

Those were competitions that Yuuri could participate with his coach’s full support. Yakov had begged Victor to not return until next season, and for the first time in his long career he actually listened. Yakov deserved that much, and it was apparently so out of character for Victor that the old coach nearly got heart attack again. The shock made him speechless and the man was currently sitting and blankly staring at a glass of red wine.

Next season would be a bit difficult, since Victor would also need to focus on his programs, but as everyone said, Victor was a genius. He’d make it work. Most people knew he’d focus on Yuuri anyway.

Hm. Starting next season, Yuuri might be better off in Russia. He didn’t know how Yakov would take it, but Yuri would definitely be ecstatic. Lilia was seen speaking with Minako, and from the way she looked at Yuuri, she might had been interested on him. Remembering her tendency to force people she’s interested in to live with her in the name of more training time, Victor might have to fight her on that.

And Yuri.

Well, he'd leave that problem to Future Victor. In that moment, he just wanted to celebrate. 

“True. Cheers.”

The Swiss laughed heartily, and Victor clinked their flutes together.

* * *

True to Phichit’s words, there was another dance off.

Same as last year, no one could figure out who brought the pole.


End file.
